The Crockpot Christening

Welcome back to the Clueless Cook. This week, you are all informally invited to watch the christening of my crockpot with clumpy, bumpy cheddar broccoli soup (recipe here).

Ingredients:  Chicken broth, garlic, parmesan cheese, broccoli, cheddar cheese, butter, salt, pepper, evaporated milk, onion, milk, flour


Step 1: Slice broccoli into “florets”- a fancy word for small little pieces.

Step 2: Cry heavily from cutting an onion.









Step 3: Make the world’s most disgusting looking pan of who-the-hell-knows what???

Believe it or not, this started out as onions sautéed in butter and then with garlic. Smelled delicious. Then I added the flour, and it started getting gross…







Step 4: Stir in 2 cans of evaporated milk and bask in the dough that is supposed to go into your crockpot.

Step 5: Debate calling the whole thing off and ordering Chinese takeout.

Step 6: Add beige goop, chicken stock and broccoli to crockpot. Pray for a miracle.






After a full day of simmering in the crockpot, move to step six.

Step 6: Stir in your whole dang bag of cheddar cheese, along with some parm. Serve with the world’s sourest sour dough bread.

Step 7: Abandon the entire sad meal, eat Wheat Thins and frozen potstickers for dinner.

My soup ended up being clumpy, I’d assume from the insane amount of flour added. I also did not add the heavy cream to the finish product, because it tends to be too much for my stomach. It was flavorless and not worth the insane amount of calories to enjoy. I’ll stick with Panera (or Bread Co, for your St Louis people) for soup and for scones.

Emily: 10, Kitchen: 4

2 thoughts on “The Crockpot Christening

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